I am right now in Slovenia, in Kamnik. It is midnight, in the room, my favorite song from Lhasa who sing a song called "My Name".
I am here now during 3 months and I am a bit high. In fact, I am quiet satisfy to be here for many reasons, I feel like in the laboratory where I found solutions who help me to grew up. I am like a ghost who is here like a spectator of his life. I walk step by step that i could call : Evolution/Revolution.
Now, we are editing the Wild One's movie with the FILMIT's company composed of Breceljnik Jure and Kapfer Erik. To be honest, I looked forward for this moment but when you are in, you don't realize that the movie speak about you. Many times, I asked me why it is so important to make a movie about myself. Why I feel uncomfortable about all interviews from my friends who talk about me? Why I feel like a stranger who still the emotions of somebody ? Sometimes, It help me to hear all the nice sentences that I was waiting in all my life. I feel good but…what I am doing ?
I'm going to tell you an history about the time.
Almost everyday, I spend my time on the climbing. First, I'm trying to progress in my level, to get more technical, more powerful and more confident that I should to ascent almost my projects. When I started 2 months ago a 6c who in the appearance it looked a bit hard on the crux. For myself, the crux is composed on 3 movements who is in fact just 2 movements for everyone. The sequence start with a good vertical hold and the right hand. Then I stand my foots so close of my hards to have one chance to stay on my left hand who is a square who is a bit slop. Then I stick my corp to try the crempie as more comfortable as possible. Now the thing is to move the left fetes on "nothing" because I can't go directly on the higher feet hold. At this moment I squeeze my ass to stand up the right feet on the crempie feet to push a bit slowly, a bit focus on the next left hand, and at this time I have one second who determine the grab of the first "jug". On this jug, I stand up my left feet to push up the second jug who finish the first sequence. After it is just a question of endurance for my part with the goods hold (quiet long for me) and some technical sequences of foots and to go the top. Halleluja !
I talk about this because during my training I got more powerful and more technic. It essential to access at the flow of the climbing. It is really strange to consider that I love this sport. It is great after 16 years of climbing to feel like a beginner. To get this nice sensation to fly on the holds feel you like to dance. I love to dance and some people in Metelkova has to see that one time.
One day, I was a bit fear to know if I am in the good way to the World Championship. Not directly because I would like to win but for sure it is to do my best to be proud about myself. Because, before I had a wrong question about why I wanted to compete in Arco. Why it is so important for me ?
I find the answer during my training. Right now I could consider that the training s a kind of drug, isn't it. How to explain ? Everyday, I wake up early to go alone in the climbing gym. When I open the door, my focus is to do all the warming up really correctly because it is not possible to train everyday without a pain. This is the only one thing that I don't want until the 17th July. I turn on the radio, I prepare my stuff with shoes, the tape and the water. I do some exercises of the stretching. After that, I lace my shoes climbing, take some chalk and to go on the first hold. On the first movement, if I feel that my body dance on the wall to enjoy the flow ;so I will pretty sure that It is gonna be a good session of the training. And this emotions is really satisfactory because I feel happy to live in my dream. My dream is going to be real, the PARACLIMBING is exist now. I wished to get a new category during the international competitions and after twelve years, the wishing is become real. After, almost 10 years, my sponsorships gave me this confident to have the opportunity to communicate about a sensible subject who is the handicap. It is a subject who scarred me for long time We are developing many subjects in the WILD ONE's film like the abandon, the suffer, the consideration, the handicap and the principal subject is the love. This word is always a thematic subject who has many versions of the definition. I have the mine. All this subjects are connect by the climbing. The climbing helped me to consider my physical like a good advantage who is already to be different. The climbing helped me to be opened in the direction of the peace world, that the humans starts to communicate in place to make wars. That humans stop to be jealous, arrogant, to feel superior in the comparison front the nature, The wild world is stronger as us…humans But we prefer to feed the world without this knowledge. My problem is to recognize that I am also this human. So, what I can do ? I try to less a mark of my visit in this universe by the creation of the HANDI-GRIMPE's event. By this action, I try to enjoy that what I do is cool. In the different side, I help some handicap people to consider themselves and to believe that nothing s impossible. I could say " Everything that hurts make you stronger".
I don't know if I am happy but I touch closer the happiness that I could call the love. A love that I get here also in Slovenia with some friends. I heard this word that I never hear in my life for long time. It blessed me when I couldn't tell you that you bring me pain when you laugh about me. I didn't ask to be an handicap person and that my parents leave me.But by opposition, it was the best gift ever. I collected just the bad vibrations of people who fight all the time. Why we are so uncomfortable with that we have ? The nature is here, also animals who don't complain. There is the grass, the sun, birds,etc. What I blame at you, I blame also at myself. But I admit that sometimes I get pains but it is to jump higher. Why not to accept defeats ? Maybe to open eyes about the expectancies, front of the reality of things. Love is not an object that we can deserve. It is one feeling, one anger, one phantasm, one fantasy, on heartbeat, one breath, one color, one attitude, one lough, one smile, one caress, one morning, a kiss, one sunshine, one raining, one storm, one herb, one one…thing that you feel in love.
Some pictures HERE